


against the dying of the light

by lurkingspecter



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Dreams, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Making Out, i wrote this while depressed at 2 am so it's kind of ???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 15:20:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12773823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurkingspecter/pseuds/lurkingspecter
Summary: Merle dreams about John, sometimes.





	against the dying of the light

Here they were again—sand, waves, brilliant orange sunset. And there was John, shoes off, hair slightly unkempt, strands of it sticking to his forehead. Merle’s brain had replayed this scene a dozen times and it always ended the same way, but every time he dreamed he forgot about that. There was only the immediacy of the situation and the few options that it presented him with.

He put his hand on John’s, leaned over, and kissed him. John returned the kiss hesitantly, holding something back. When they parted John’s expression was strained.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“But you still want to do it.”

John put a hand on Merle’s face. His smile was full of ancient wariness. Merle would kiss that feeling out of him, if he could.

“Yes.”

Merle gently pushed him to the ground and climbed on top of him. He laced his fingers through his hair, squeezed his hips with his knees. His kissing was rough, possessive. When they broke apart they were both a bit winded. Merle dipped down again and took it slower this time, but was no less harsh. It was a kiss laced with anger, he realized. Anger that John had to leave him. That it had to turn out like this.

When Merle looked again, John was looking up at him with tears in his eyes.

“I’m so tired, Merle,” he said. “But you’re making it really hard to leave.”

“That was the plan.”

He kissed John even more greedily now. He kissed the tears from his eyes and put his hands on either side of his face, holding it there. If he pinned down every part of John’s body, then maybe he wouldn’t leave.

It never worked.

There was a tense moment right before the sun dipped below the horizon. It seemed to waver, for a minute. Maybe it would show mercy this time. Merle gripped John’s arms hard enough to bruise.

_One more minute—just one more, that’s all I ask—_

John slipped through his fingers. One-two-three, the twirl of a magician's hat, and ta-da, no more John. An amazing disappearing act. God was some Houdini with either bad timing or a sick sense of humor.

Merle laid down in the indentation where John’s body was and waited for the dream to fade.

He woke up and, as always, wondered why he was sure that a better dream would bring John back.

**Author's Note:**

> One day I’m going to write a happy Johnchurch fic, I swear.


End file.
